The Democratic Socialist State of Cachard Calia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Jane Fisher with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, free-roaming dinosaurs, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.516 billion Cachard Calians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lesbiana. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Cachard Calian economy, worth 677 trillion gaylis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 192,776 gaylis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade, there's nothing more rock-and-roll than absolute sobriety, an endless multinational bureaucracy connects the Red Bloc, and the government's foreign policy statements are less threatening than a World Assembly cease-and-desist letter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cachard Calia's national animal is the Queer Democratic Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Cachard Calia is ranked 3,178^th in the world and 16^th in Gay for Highest Food Quality, scoring 241.43 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.